Fear series 1: Fear of Writing Blog..

Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them... they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight. ~Orison Swett Marden

When I was in fourth standard I tried to write a story, I started writing, after writing few pages, before completing, I showed to my mother and few trusted people. I still remember my mama appreciated me but some of my dear ones laughed at me. Obviously the story was stupid. I felt shy and didn’t complete it. I had forgotten that once I had a wished to become a writer.

When I was in seventh standard of my high school life, I had submitted a poem, a stupid poem on corruption, to our school’s magazine co-ordinator. It was not selected for publication. Those days are happy days, the feeling of failure never hunted me. There was always something to do and something to think and never got time to feel sad about the failure of past. But I had completely forgotten the feeling of writing.

Thanks to my professor and few very good friends of my college, because of them I have started feeling of writing after long years of my life. But the difficulty was answering the questions - for whom to write, for what to write and what to write? These are the questions I had to answer before started writing. Yes I found the answers - I would write for myself, I would write because I feel writing and I would write anything about whatever I feel.

I found blogging is a good option for practicing my writing. Yes I opened my blog on February 2010 but I could not write anything. Why? Because I feared, I was feared of writing.

Hold on! Am I feared of writing? I did introspection why I fear of writing. And found few reasons, reasons that showed me the medicine of curing my fear too.

The first reason I found was I am not a good writer and I never wrote before. Ok if it is the real reason for my fear I should not have thought of writing because I was not born as writer. And obviously I have to start from the beginning, in the beginning stage how I will be good at what I do?

The second reason was I am feared of mistakes. Everybody fears of mistakes, so I am. But is it the real reason for my fear of writing blog? The mistakes may be the grammatical mistake and spelling mistake. If it is grammatical mistake I should not feel ashamed because English is not my mother tongue. And being a human being how can I escape from the trap of mistake.

The third reason is I am too much worried of what other will think about me. Will they laugh at me because of my writing, will they think that I am a stupid, or will they find my mistakes?

But all these reasons were baseless and completely wrong. The real reasons are I was not confident, I had no courage to follow my wishes, I was over pessimist about what other will think about me, in reality nobody has the time to think and judge me. Therefore all the reasons are just illusions.

“Fear itself is an illusion I conclude”.